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Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Ed Markey, geography expert

Congressman Ed Markey (Dem, Mass), commenting on BP's reassignment of Tony Hayward, said that "People on the Gulf of Mexico and the United States applaud this action".

The Gulf of Mexico AND the United States?

Mr. Markey has long been known for his astounding grasp of geopolitical affairs (insert sarcastic expression here), but this statement leaves us uncertain of his exact meaning. Was he referring to:

A) the "Gulf of Mexico" as a separate political entity? By now, no doubt many in the Gulf states would prefer that to be the case.

B) the "Gulf" as part of Mexico? This seems the most likely explanation, given Ed's political leanings and the worldview of a typical Northeastern leftist. But I believe another alternative is the better explanation.

C) the "Gulf" -- that is, the actual expanse of ocean -- as a distinct and sovereign nation. Shrimp, dolphins, and other creatures constitute the citizenry, who vote Democrat (of course), while those nasty redneck fishermen and oilmen are exploiters who exist only to destroy the pristine environment. And, incidentally, to deliver seafood and gasoline to Massachusetts.

Perhaps a letter to Mr. Markey congratulating him on his tireless efforts to protect the Gulf, possibly signed by King Neptune, would make him feel rewarded for his courage in speaking out.

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